Our Clumsy Thumbsies

Anyone who watches The Ellen Show must be very aware of the comic segment – Clumsy Thumbsies – where Ellen reads out text messages that are messed up by the very intelligent autocorrect on every smart phone. While I was texting my best friend, Priya Darshni, my autocorrect pitched in its brain to change the word ‘yesterday’ to ‘Ystradgynlais’ which frankly I’m sure doesn’t exist in any language.

Maybe my phone was manufactured by a bunch of aliens, I don’t know.

We both had a laugh over it and that’s when we discussed about a combined blog post targeting solely on the autocorrect. We’d each construct a passage of our own and then unleash the autocorrect on it, to see the kind of weird words and sentence construction it makes.

The thing is, the autocorrect is most weird when you draw the words instead of typing them, so that’s how we’re going to present our passages, by drawing it.

This is the result I came up with:

There were two disks on the bathroom of tannery year old Natalie. One, a lovely baby pink, day in a Maryculter box as it eyes the lilac one stayed on a white swan shahid box.

Lilac was anything peacefully, long lashes flowing with each musical snow.

Why did she think she is, Mermaids Work? Baby Pink snuffed to herself.

‘Saw, who’s the grumpy Lumpur?’ drawled the Titchfield, taunting sound in his cup to enjoy the blow of baby punks trex race.

‘I. Am. Not. A. Limo,’ she brief hey tenth at her. ‘Toilet broad.’

‘Show you’re a lump nanny,’ the toothbrush smelled, ignoring the insult she threw at him. ‘Look sound your slave, you’ve made wow a mess, haven’t you?’

Baby pink pursued add she writes the ILY creamy revenge of hey bloody melt and dry all around the bar of her skidoo box. This hairbrush every grainy time sheet battels at her down sheet hey bath. The tetchy cause of her serving-to-be-purslane at bed was stated just two feet away smiting away.

‘Must grumpy lumpy,’ sand the Rotherham. ‘Messy grumpy lumpy, messy grimly limit.’

‘Yeah, and what amir you?’ Baby pink snaked at him. ‘Didn’t Natalie’s for year old meow use you to clean the ear basin last weekend? You’re the one whose a messy … sticky uncle!’

‘Is that really the best you can come up with?’ He laughed. ‘And mind you, I’m not immature enough to ball just because Natalie is going to throw me away for that side post that. He’s ad intelligentsia at you, by the way.’

The news toothbrush was taking on his sleep. ‘Oh no, no, merry, just svelte my bit aiding your canines, that will stop for today.’

Baby pink coat top ignore them and shed lilac.

‘What a breath,’ the toothbrush went on and baby pink flayed up at him add he gave monads Skellow form an amusing look. ‘Bayle must really love her. Her skin really flies look great ever since she made use of her oil reducing prepaid. And look! She’s given lomax a Swan throne. Clay, ain’t it?’

‘If you funny shut up,’ baby pink they’d. ‘I will knock you into that bin.’

‘Sure, go ahead. It’s where I’m going to end up tomorrow anyway. He’s that girl gets a new toothbrush and shame babe the sense to get rid of her old one? Slob,’ he commented.

‘You want to be thrown away?’ baby pink asked in sick.

‘What’s she going to create? A toothbrush museum in here? I tell you, babe, you’re just gonna sit turret without you bath. She’s moved on. It’s time you ought to add all.’

‘Then why hadn’t she theorem my out of she didn’t want to use me anymore?’ Baby pink terrified.

‘Let me know this or for you Skegby,’ he days. ‘Listen vettu carefully.’

‘Yes.’

‘She.’

‘She …?’

‘Is.’

‘Is …?’

‘A spoon.’

‘A spoon. Wait, what?’

‘You’re privacy yay gonna shut there all the while she is off a thousand lilac … Watching an son pikchars by with a daughter heart as you just like there year anger yaar after –’

‘Are you kidding me?’ Baby pink shrieked.

‘Lilac o aejenchi, bobbling aat hetli. ‘Oooh, Bay pink toy, you ought to be sitting.’

‘Why?’ Baby pink tagged at her. ‘It’s if because it hurts the swabs ears? Or your pig so departs ears? Since you can hear perfectly fine, mind your own business!’

‘Oh,’ she days, her voice so frustratingly say as she gave an innocent lookkaa that made baby pink quant to punch her. ‘I was just concerned for you, baby pink, sitting is not good for your throat.’

‘Not sitting up is not good for you either, so you hear me?’ Baby pink snake and kills frightened, bushed the side of her box too make the v Swan lid close shot above her.

‘Task, task, task, what a grenier you have, babe,’ the toothbrush said. ‘Really, I don’t see what your fuss is all about. So I liked her best, big deal! If you Pyke down for a minute and a attention to your senses, you can actually look so much irandu girls kaalai yu haaluku. That’s what I do everytime you throws me away. I’m so chosen somewhere else. Just relax, babe, okay?’

Baby pink consists heirs words.

He’d right.

She existed in so many other places!

And she can to those girls being very satisfied with how well she worked or for them. Es this one girl going to bring her siren just preferred Dean lilac over her?

No.

Baby pink smiled up at the bottom, who winked at her.

‘Atta girl.’

Toothbrush and Soap

This is the original whose pride it wanted to increase:

There were two soaps in the bathroom of twenty year old Natalie. One, a lovely baby pink, sat in a matching box as it eyed the lilac one seated on a white swan shaped box.

Lilac was sleeping peacefully, long lashes fluttering with each musical snore.

Who does she think she is, Mermaid Ariel? Baby Pink scoffed to herself.

‘Aw, who’s the grumpy lumpy?’ drawled the toothbrush, twisting around in his cup to enjoy the view of Baby Pink’s red face.

‘I. Am. Not. A. Lump,’ she gritted her teeth at him. ‘Toilet brush.’

‘Sure you’re a lump, baby,’ the toothbrush smirked, ignoring the insult she threw at him. ‘Look around your space, you’ve made quite a mess, haven’t you?’

Baby Pink pouted as she eyed the oily creamy essence of her body melt and dry all around the base of her soap box. This happened every freaking time after Natalie set her down after her bath. The recent cause of her seeming-to-be permanent dryness was seated just two feet away snoring away.

‘Messy grumpy lumpy,’ sang the toothbrush. ‘Messy grumpy lumpy, messy grumpy lumpy.’

‘Yeah, and what about you?’ Baby Pink snapped at him. ‘Didn’t Natalie’s four year old nephew use you to clean the wash basin last weekend? You’re the one who’s a messy … sticky icky!’

‘Is that really the best you can come up with?’ he laughed. ‘And mind you, I’m not immature enough to bawl just because Natalie is going to throw me away for that dude over there. He’s as intelligent as you, by the way.’

The new toothbrush was talking in his sleep. ‘Oh, no, no, Mary, just scrape my butt against your canines, that will do for today.’

Baby Pink chose to ignore both of them and eyed Lilac.

‘What a beauty,’ the toothbrush went on and Baby Pink glared up at him as he gave Lilac’s sleepy form an admiring look. ‘Natalie must really love her. Her skin really does look great ever since she made use of her oil reducing properties. And look! She’s given Lilac a swan throne. Classy, ain’t it?’

‘If you don’t shut up,’ Baby Pink threatened. ‘I will knock you into that bin.’

‘Sure, go ahead. It’s where I’m going to end up tomorrow anyway. Jeez, that girl gets a new toothbrush and doesn’t have the sense to get rid of her old one? Slob,’ he commented.

‘You want to be thrown away?’ Baby Pink asked him in shock.

‘What’s she going to create? A toothbrush museum in here? I tell you, babe, you’re just going to sit there without another bath. She’s moved on. It’s time you ought to as well.’

‘Then why hasn’t she thrown me away if she doesn’t want to use me anymore?’ Baby Pink retorted.

‘Let me spell this out for you, slowly,’ he said. ‘Listen very carefully. Are you listening carefully?’

‘Yes.’

‘She …’

‘She?’

‘Is …’

‘Is?’

‘A slob.’

‘A slob. Wait, what?’

‘You’re probably gonna sit there all along while she melts off a thousand of Lilac … Watching the aeon pass by with a broken heart as you just sit there year after year after –’

‘Are you kidding me?’ Baby Pink shrieked.

Lilac jerked awake, blinking at her. ‘Oh, Baby Pink, you really ought to stop shouting.’

‘Why?’ Baby Pink raged at her. ‘Is it because it hurts the swan’s ears? Or your oh-so-delicate ears? Since you can hear perfectly fine, mind your own business!’

‘Oh,’ she said, her voice so frustratingly sweet as she gave an innocent look that made Baby Pink want to punch her.  ‘I was just concerned for you, Baby Pink. Shouting is not good for your throat.’

‘Not shutting up is not good for you either, do you hear me?’ Baby Pink snapped and Lilac, frightened, nudged the side of her box to make the swan lid close shut above her.

‘Tsk, tsk, tsk, what a temper you have, babe,’ the toothbrush said. ‘Really, I don’t see what your fuss is all about. So Natalie likes her best, big deal! If you pipe down for a minute and pay attention to your senses, you can actually feel so many other girls using you happily. That’s what I do every time someone throws me away. I’m always chosen somewhere else. Just relax, babe, okay?’

Baby Pink considered his words.

He was right.

She existed in so many other places!

And she can actually feel those girls being very satisfied with how well she worked out for them. Was this one girl going to bring her down just because she preferred Swan Lilac over her?

No.

Baby Pink smiled up the toothbrush, who winked at her.

‘Atta girl.’

~~~~~

Here is my bestie, PPD’s, result with her autocorrect:

Who’s success posts recipe

Take 200gm of pure died parts, at it to ten dogs is boiling watery, asking work for and 1tsp Oliver oil. Cool until all degree. Drain, regram with cold water and keep aside Surrey drizzling some oil through the posts.

Dude one small red onion, once small green prior, once small red pepper, and one small Carrie. Sisters some sweet corn kernels Amy black in boiling water. Chip fine garlic cloves finely.

Dissolved to two off refined Floyd in one tablespoon of while milk. Wet are now ready to make the one pot pasta.

In a pan, heat one TSP of olive oil, are all the negroes and saute without letting them chat. Take then of beau and NYC on a punch of salt and half atsp of white pepper.

In the same Pam, at 1tsp Plumber oil and sure the garlic. Once the Glamour’s are infused, add in 15gm of buttery. Street it melts, put in 500ml of while milk. Wait for it up boil. When it says to, let the mixture something. Put in the milk, floor mixture while stirring continuously with a whisk. We don’t want it to settled in a clump at the bottom. At all the Natalie’s Andy the parts. Add salt and white pretty according to your tray, with fried oregano.

Keepg to check the constitution once in a while. When it says thickening, let one chest cube disperse into the sauce (cut to pieces for an even distinction). Add the dry corn as well and mix. Grate the other cube and spread on the top surface evenly once the confrontation is correct. Let the cheese bubble and firm a crust.

Server got with optional red Coll flats.

White sauce

Priya’s Original Text :

White sauce pasta recipe

Take 200gm of pre-dried pasta, add it to ten cups of boiling water, adding salt and 1tsp olive oil. Cook until all dente. Drain, refresh with cold water and keep aside after drizzling from oil through the pasta.

Dice one small red onion, one small green pepper, one small red pepper, and one small carrot. Seperate some sweet corn kernels and blanch in boiling water. Chop five garlic cloves finely.

Dissolve two tsp of refined flour in one tablespoon of whole milk. We are now ready to make the one-pot pasta.

In a pan, heat one tsp of olive oil, add all the vegetables and saute without letting them char. Take them off heat and mix in a pinch of salt and half a tsp of white pepper.

In the same pan, add 1tsp olive oil and saute the garlic. Once the flavours are infused, add in 15gm of butter. After it melts, pour in 500 ml of whole milk. Wait for it to boil. When it does so, let the mixture simmer. Pour in the milk-flour mixture while stirring continuously with a whisk. We don’t want it to settle in a clump at the bottom. Add all the vegetables and the pasta. Add salt and white pepper according to your taste, with dried oregano.

Keep checking the constitution once in a while. When it starts thickening, let one cheese cube disperse into the sauce (cut into pieces for an even dispersion). Add the sweet corn as well and mix. Grate the other cube and spread on the top surface evenly once the constitution is correct. Let the cheese bubble and form a crust.

Serve hot with optional red chilli flakes.

~~~~~

This was so much fun for both of us! I’m sure you guys would love to experiment with the autocorrect too and share loads of laughter! 😀

Have a beautiful day ahead

Best,

Deepika

2 Comments Add yours

  1. I still can’t believe we succeeded in posting this, after days and days of me being a defunct blogger! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha, we totally did finally post it babe!

      Liked by 1 person

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