I am so happy to have attained and announce my hundredth blog post. It really was surprising to see it approaching last week when I saw the post number halfway through its nineties. I got inspired with blog ideas meanwhile, aware of how many should be chosen before that hundredth one, which I wanted to be really special. I debated on what to write for a while, before knowing a letter to my pen would be the best candidate. I initially thought of writing it to my current active protagonist as a thank you for gifting me a memorable journey of writing her story, but I owed more to the pen that has been sticking with me since childhood. This is my chance to tell it how much it means to me.
I don’t have an official name for you, but I do hope you’re okay with me calling you Pole Star – a name to show how you shine as that one glow of happiness whenever I feel blue. As you know, I have trouble emoting myself without you. If someone tells me something extremely nice about myself or my works, what comes out of my mouth in response to the created overwhelming reaction is only half, sometimes not even up to that, of what I really feel. I don’t label myself an introvert girl with an extrovert pen for the style of it. As much as I love talking to my loved ones face to face or through the phone, there’s always something soulfully satisfying in writing to them.
Do you remember anything of me in Mum’s womb? I had no idea you were there – as if I remember anything being inside her – until a few years ago when she told me she wrote Dad’s medical study notes while pregnant with me. Activities of a pregnant mother does have an impact on the baby she’s carrying. Mum and Dad have always been and will always be my backbone. Together, they proved it by gifting me with you – even though they weren’t aware of it – while I was still nurtured in the womb.
You started taking your first strokes across paper with fairytales inspired from Cinderella and Snow White, scribbling with a five year old’s handwriting for two to three pages. There used to be heaps of them, but none saved properly due to the transfer from place to place. I don’t know which number of houses it is I’m sitting in and writing this letter to you, to put it bluntly.
For a few years in my childhood, you got lost along with those fairytales and I never bothered to find you, as back then none of us gave any credit for your presence. Miraculously, you forgave me and found me around when I was 14 and helped me win the first prize in a poetry competition in school, which I remember was about NATURE, a topic I was allotted from three. Little did I know that category was foreshadowing itself choosing me again for a fantasy series three years later. I forgot about you for another year. I didn’t even spare you any thought. So ignorant and insensitive of me. But then you decided to give me one last chance and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I caught you in my arms and hugged you close, this time determined to never let you go. You have permanently superglued yourself to my hand since then, giving birth to a little girl and her pet deer first. She lasted for only a few months, before deciding this wasn’t really going to work out between us and left our imaginations with a sweet smile of good luck. Though I never let go, you became deliberately invisible in my hand till towards the end of high school – I sadly had no choice but to do that – when you shone with everything you had. My Pole Star.
I knew you were my everything, knowing no matter what, I’ll always come back to you. I knew you were the one drive to keep me anchored to always seeing the sunny side of life.
Out came Nikki Delaine to star in Dance Dream, the debut teen fiction you gifted me with when I was almost 17. And then came Nashira Jaynes a few months later, a shape shifting unicorn controlling the five elements of nature in an Ethereal world. I could afford to give her my full attention only after my UG course was over, but you and I both remember how we explored her and her world so many times throughout college, experimenting with different paths and assets with which the story was to progress. None of them worked out the way we wanted, before the real story unravelled itself to us as soon as I finished college. Things fell in place as we started to spend all our time with Nashira and the fantasy world of Saturna. Whatever else may be gifted in the future, this gift of Nashira Jaynes and the chance to travel with her through five books is the most memorable phase I’m spending with you. I don’t know what reception awaits Nashira. So far, she’s received a very kind one based on part one and regardless of whether that will be consistent or not, including the future four books, I know I will always cherish every single minute of spending with her. For a mother, her child is always a blessing from heaven.
You and I have loads more adventures to venture into after our journey with Nashira ends. The door to a next one got created recently. We don’t know what’s behind that door, since our newly born protagonists are yet to hand us the key, but one thing I do know is that with you, it’s going to be as precious as the rides in the stories we’ve written so far. Fun with weaving stories as far as our imaginations are capable of, regardless of whether they will be readers’ choices or not, is immortal. I’m blessed to have you, Pole Star. You’re always there to entertain and make me feel better any given second of the day. I don’t have to worry about losing the spark of life while you’re there in my hand.
I know I said I can only emote myself through you but the irony is that I can’t elucidate the exact amount with which I love you. But you are aware of it, always. I know you are, as you are fused to my soul. You are aware of every beat of my heart, how long is it going to take for you to know how grateful I am to you.
A universe of love to you, Pole Star.