Where there’s love, there’s anger.
So it’s no big surprise if you’ve ever had fights with your best friend(s).
I’ve moved around a lot of schools and so I’ve never had a consistent gang of friends in my life, but it’s been an absolutely wonderful experience, since from each school, there was one special girl who became my close friend. I’ve lost contact with the ones from U.K. after I moved to India, but the best friends I got gifted with from here are still in touch, right to this minute. Especially from year twelve and college.
I’m a person who hates fighting with my friends and never understood why friends sometimes have a go at each other so bad they’d want to scratch each other’s eyes out. The principle, the root, the reason, all of it has always been lost on me, until I finally understood them in the hard way when I had fights with one of my best friends from college. It rattled me inside out and every time we continued from where we left off, I’d be shivering with shock, horror and anger, both at me and at her for being so stupid that I figured it must be a different dimension of stupidity.
The fault of it lies with the reason.
Immense love and possessiveness over each other.
I was jealous she liked spending time with another girl – who I initially liked a lot and was the one to invite her to sit with us in the first place – and it lead to hissy cat fights that steamed with rage. The ridiculous part of it was that it was done over text messages, not verbally, which worsened things with so many misunderstandings. It was like having hell to pay for and both of us were so sure we were never resolving this, ever.
It went on for quite a handful of months, where we’d be okay for a while, though talking with the strain between us, and then we’d explode again with another reason. Then one big one demolished all the want to talk and we never spoke with each other into the beginning of the final year.
No exchange of look, let alone text messages, and I started hanging out with some other girls.
But it was a good thing, since the silence, distance and magic of time gradually cooled our tempers down. Sure, it took some weeks, but with each passing day, I softened and almost forgot why I was angry with her at all. I missed her, but hesitated to go and talk, knowing we’d probably blow up again. The girl I was jealous over was still with my bestie, and though I spoke with neither of them, the two other girls of our gang who I’m close with were really upset and repeatedly told me how they missed us all being together.
I think a month and half passed, before one evening I opened my mail to find my bestie had tagged me in something and with a swell of hope and anticipation, I sent her something back and a couple more funny exchanges later, we started chatting, talking about everything that happened and as I was wondering what to reply to something she said, my mother entered my room with a smile and held the phone out to me. I curiously put it to my ear and the second I heard my bestie’s voice through it, everything was forgiven and forgotten between us in the blink of an eye.
We talked for a long time and the next day, I was back to sitting with my gang again and the friend I was jealous over smacked both of us for being such idiots and all the anger and envy I had towards her reduced a lot. It kind of lurked silently but I didn’t let it get in the way this time, since the five of us enjoyed being together. Yet, the silly possessiveness reared its ugly head a few months later at an internship program, with a couple other new reasons related to the project, and we split again. This time, both of them – my bestie and her – and me and the other two.
This was the most heated yet the most funniest fight we’ve ever had. To start off with, we continued to sit at our table together back in college but we’d never speak. The other girls were like, ‘Seriously, you guys, you’re insane.’
And the other funny thing was, we’d find ways to make each other jealous. Like, the three of us would start to talk about or do something we know those two would like joining in, when they’re within earshot. And they’d find a way to retaliate, which we pretend to ignore and turn a deaf ear. The cat and mouse game went on for a month before one day when I was dictating from a previous batch record note, those two deliberately asked me to repeat sentences or words which I knew perfectly well they already understood. Resisting an urge to laugh and throw chalk at their heads at the same time, I did as they asked and the next day, with a few childish throws of crunched paper at each other during an hour when we we were supposed to check if our records were in order, we were back to being bosom friends again – permanently.
All anger, all of it, vanished into nowhere.
Had my bestie and I stayed with the stubborn or childish resolution to never forgive or speak to each other again, we would have missed every single memory we created as well as the beauty, love and insanity of our deep friendship. We’re texting and being crazy, the usual, as I type this out right now as a matter of fact.
How many of you have had fights with your best friend and still haven’t talked to each other yet?
If you raised your hand, put it back down, reach for your phone, dial your bestie and set things straight. If you don’t, you’re missing out on that wonderful feeling you have when you hear their voice, filled with warmth and love, directed at you and you know things are back to the way they used to be. As well as the feel of your heart swelling as the hole that resided in it till now closed back up.
Get rid of your pride.
Get rid of your ego.
Get rid of your stubbornness.
Win your friend and your happiness back.
Laugh about the silly fight together.
Get over it and hug it out, people.