Misleading Romances

A romance sequence is what the story of a movie usually is about, or it blooms along the sidelines of the main plot, or sometimes comes out of nowhere in the climax, or in other cases, there is no romance sequence at all. Regarding this, movies can fall into these four categories and while the depth of the relationship can’t be portrayed completely on screen – unless it’s a sitcom like Friends or Personal Taste – it can successfully be sketched to appear likable, rational, sensible and acceptable. Good examples of these are Pride and Prejudice (Elizabeth and Darcy), First Love (Shone and Nam), Me Before You (Will and Lou), the notable ones in Harry Potter (Harry and Ginny; Ron and Hermione; James and Lily; Snape and Lily; Cedric and Cho), and Twilight (Alice and Jasper). I’ve always loved these couples, because they just fit in right with each other. You don’t really find anything stupid or silly about them.

But stupid and silly romances sadly do exist in a lot of movies, that all you feel like doing is switching it off or groaning into your hands.

I watched this Tamil movie recently, Remo, in which the relationship between the lead couple was appalling. I’ve never been fond of Sivakarthikeyan – better off not mentioning why – but I decided to give this one a chance.

And regretted it.

It’s about this guy who falls in love with this girl (Keerthi Suresh) at first sight. One sign that this can’t go well. I used to believe love at first sight was possible back when I was a teenager but then I started reading a lot and my opinions changed. Sure, call it a spark or you take an instant liking but it’s nowhere close to the border of love. 

This guy decides to pursue her but when he gets thwarted by her engagement, he decides to dress up as this female nurse to work in the same hospital she works as a doctor, makes friends with her, and then starts convincing her she should throw the arranged marriage away and opt for a love marriage, which is undoubtedly in favour of his situation. First wrong step was to deceive the girl like that to find out what she’s thinking. That is a total invasion of privacy, no matter how you look at it.

So is the movie sending out the message it’s completely cool and macho for a guy to take on a fake avatar to get a girl? Because in the end, she does fall hard for him, giving the affirmative.

What?

And some viewers find that romantic, which is really shocking.

The guy reveals himself halfway through the story, sending her flowers and setting up a firework display for her birthday. What do you think comes next? He stalks her everywhere she goes, whistling at her to catch her attention, calling her in the middle of the night (creepy!), and asking, in what he assumes to be a charming way, ‘When are you gonna say yes to me?’

It’s as if he’s calling her for a daring challenge, like jumping off a cliff as a bet.

There are no scenes in which he gives her any reason to like him nor is there any scene to give him a reason to like her. What does he really know about her aside from her getting engaged and on the brink of marriage? How does he know she will make him happy? All he sees is this white skinned, pretty girl who he’d look good with. And she doesn’t seem to look for any reason either, and as she begins to dislike the disposition of her fiance instead, this guy is who she looks at.

The way you approach a girl and getting to know her has a certain gentlemanly way in which the protagonist of this movie fails to exhibit. And when guys watch this and feel inspired, it leads to them thinking what he did was right – because hey, he got the girl in the end! – and they begin imitating his style in real life. When the respective girls don’t find that enchanting and spurns them – unlike the girl in the movie – some of the guys get angry, which leads to them inflicting trauma in the girl’s life through ways I really don’t want to mention.

Everything is about cinema today. What you bring out through a movie is really very important as a result. Hoodwinking real life people dangerously like this is committing a felony. It spoils guys, it spoils girls. What’s depicted in movies like this isn’t love but lust. Pure, unadulterated lust.

The guy sees a pretty girl and begins stalking her wherever she goes. Him and his friends like insulting other girls to their faces by calling them ‘not worthy to look at’. It’s not funny, people, scenes like that are definitely not funny. If he can’t respect another woman, how will he respect the girl he’s after? And in this case, I can’t blame guys alone. Girls walking around in groups have the tendency to make fun of other guys, pertaining to physical appearances or the way they behave.

Lack of respect, lack of humanity.

You do not impertinently insult other people for the way they look or behave. Especially not to their faces or when you are aware they can hear you.

These attributes usually make up the ingredient to some appalling movies and what’s even horrifying is half of the audience enjoys them and takes them to their hearts. The movie industry is really getting polluted.

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17 Comments Add yours

  1. Very True, Deepika. If a guy makes fun of other girls and teases them, how can he respect the girl he is in Love with. That’s where, the difference between Love and Lust is. The Difference is Respect.
    Love + Respect = True Love
    Love – Respect = Lust
    I had quite a sharp lesson of this paradox in my Life. It shocked me, to realise that I believed it was ‘Love’ when it was ‘Pure Lust’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You summed it up perfectly, Cattie! It’s all based on respect. I’m sorry you had to go through your bad experience 😦 But I’m really glad you’re now out of it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bitter Bitter Love Experience !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya, Thank God, I’m Out of it now. Sense has entered my Cattie Head.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Good on you! 🙂 Life is all based on experiences. They shape you into a better and confident person day by day. You’re a strong girl, Cattie 🙂

          Like

  2. The above Image is what I learnt in Life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent and very sensible image, dear! Thank you so much for sharing it, I’m sure everyone else resonating with this post will appreciate it a lot too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sweetie you given an exact and true statement regarding love and lust. Nowadays all the shows a deceptive romances.This movie is one of your right example.And you beautifully depicted about the difference of true love and fake love. They not even show any kind of respect and morality. Today’s world cinefield itself totally contaminated and become dirty.Moreover, in this time i definitely want to convey about the movie PRIDE AND PREJUDICE such a such a lovely and decent film…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, darling, the cinema industry is really manipulating people’s minds with wrong influences. Only a handful of movies show real love and what it really means. Pride and Prejudice is one of those rare beautiful stories you will never get enough of ❤ 🙂

      Like

  4. Ranjini says:

    A very mature write up Deepika. Let me start with Books and movies have spoilt romance for us. They are good for entertainment (definitely not this movie). But as a teenager and even until I reached my mid twenties, I had a picture about love. A plan on how romance should be – all derived from love sick books & movies. Not that they are wrong. But the first message that should be given is that, there is no same love twice. People have their own ways of loving and it is about how two people accommodate each others’.

    This movie, as you pointed out, doesn’t even touch upon love. If that is true, I have felt the same way about many movies. Most of the Bollywood & Tamil movies. For instance, Thuppaki comes to my mind. What on Earth was the thing between Vijay & Kajal? While I liked the plot, the romance sort of sh*t was absolutely unnecessary. It sends out wrong messages. And ofcourse the comments about people’s looks. Don’t get me started on that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great comment, Ranjini! Thanks for reading! 🙂 Deep and intense feelings about a person always arise from how their attitude, disposition and manners complement you, only along with outer looks. It’s not the physical appearance alone. And as you rightly pointed out, certain movies and books are good for entertainment only. Technically not possible to apply in real life. In Thuppaki, yeah I too kind of wondered about the thing between Vijay and Kajal 😀 But it was kinda okay, cause the main action plot was riveting and this didn’t bring any prominent damage 😀 If there’s any other unbelievable slash incomprehensible romance, it’s the one in Twilight – Edward and Bella.
      Both of them have no reason at all as to why they like each other. She calls him a Greek God, he scolds her for underestimating the effect she has on guys. It’s like they’re going to marvel at the physical beauty of each other, and only that, throughout the rest of eternity.

      Like

  5. sahil1137 says:

    A very sensible and good post but one thing I don’t agree is that you are comparing real life’s with movies.
    Relationship are harder now because conversation became texting, arguments became phone calls, feelings became subliminal message online. Sex became easy, the word love gets used out of context, insecurities have become your way of thinking. Getting jealous became a habit. Trust has been lost,
    Cheating became an accident and, leaving became the only option and being hurt became natural.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, Sahil, thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 I agree with your train of thoughts, as it is the present day scenario, but we can’t brush off movies having no influence. The movie I criticised above paves way for misguided assumptions that it’s okay to hide behind a mask to get the person you want.Of course, no one can get away with changing into another person physically and pursue their object of interest, but it’s a metaphor that you can hide behind a fake avatar. Text messages, the most active form of communication these days, is a qualified candidate for a mask. People who have never met in person before start talking online and it becomes easy for them to don another avatar that doesn’t exist, to manipulate the person on the other end of the line. People most of the time don’t know who they’re talking with. Even with people who have met, this can be a problem.

      I’m not saying what I have criticised above applies for everyone, but a handful of the population get influenced badly, which isn’t a minor problem. People, especially youngsters, look up to the characters portrayed on screen and they shouldn’t get the wrong information. In a lot of families, parents don’t always manage to teach their children to differentiate what is right and wrong, what is reality and fantasy. These people then look for outside sources, which are either equally misguided friends or movies like this. You learn from the person you like, right? So if an actor is very popular among young adults, he should make sure he isn’t sending any wrong message.

      The term ‘love’ is getting used out of context, as you rightfully said. And on-screen characters, from old as well as new movies, go to the opposite gender and go ‘Love me.’, in a condescending manner. It’s become a very used slang, which has implanted into people’s minds. Movies do have influence.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. sahil1137 says:

        So somehow you have been successful to change my thinking. I m really thankful to you for this. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You’re most welcome, Sahil 🙂 Have a great day ahead 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

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