It’s sometimes inevitable human nature to make comparisons between ourselves and someone else. It can work two ways; either you feel so insecure about yourself you think your friend/frenemy/enemy is enjoying all the fruits life has to give, or you arrogantly feel like you’re on top of the world and think your friend/frenemy/enemy won’t ever have a ticket to bathe in that golden fountain of bliss.
People belonging to the latter, whoever they compare themselves with, deserve a severe earful, so I won’t go into that part.
I’m targeting the former, the one that’s prevalent in both sexes. No one can ever deny they haven’t ever felt small in contrary to someone else. It may have happened when you were a kid or a teenager or now as an adult. Cognitive maturity can sometimes betray us in the insecurity department, which is a pain, really.
I came to know my very close friend went through an episode of restlessness, jealousy, spite and grief recently, after she couldn’t take it any longer and poured her heart out to me in a fit of rage and despondency. It was all due to the cause of witnessing one of the girls we know gambolling around the city she currently lives in with a cool gang. You know, the kind of girls who know they are pretty and be subtle bitches about it. The kind of girls who love uploading their dimensional selfie angles and make a collection of it on public social media to garner attention. On a personal note, I dislike her. There was a time I thought she was a nice friend but it turned out not to be true, after a few incidents where she cunningly landed me in trouble and ended up being the ‘good girl’. I’m not surprised she’s roaming around with a bunch of empty heads like her and exhibiting her plastic nature she usually coats with saccharine sweetness and giggles.
Anyway, back on track.
In the train of life, we always have to choose which station we’re going to get off.
After completing our high school education, we begin thinking about which undergraduate course we’re going to take up and in which college. Are you going to move out of the house and live in a hostel or are you going to be a day scholar while living with your parents? And then you start wondering what post graduate course you’re going to take. This usually ends up in hostel life, either by moving across the state or country or to the other end of the world, but three quarters of people (I think girls) opt for never moving away from the security of their parents. To each her/his own. I had a sense of trepidation for hostel life and vowed to never leave the comfort of my home. I completed a wonderful course here in a privileged women’s college and haven’t ever regretted never experiencing hostel life.
See, you choose your comfort zone. You never have to do anything that disturbs your peace of mind. My bestie is similar to me in choosing the comfort of studying under her parents care and now pursuing her challenging post graduate course that locks in her in the battles of projects and thesis work, she’s always on the verge of breaking down. Throw in countless pressurising suggestions from outside forces for her career, which goes against what she has in mind, as well as add that haughty girl displaying the ostentatious life she is living, and she starts wondering whether she took the right choice for herself.
There are a lot of girls who mirror that kind of agitation. Boys can undergo that scenario too. We are all human beings here.
And distinctions like these are nothing but superfluous comparisons, we have to nail that down on our heads firmly in place. Are you feeling your friend turned rival has everything served on a golden platter to them? Are you feeling that person has chosen a much better place than yours and not breaking a sweat to keep their sanity intact? Are you feeling ‘Damn, seriously?!’ when they receive placement offers from the most commendable companies while you’re sitting here being upset those people are not conducting campus interviews in your college? Or are you feeling depressed the career you wish to take holds no meaning for life because of the controversies to it spiking up in your family? That leads to thinking ‘If only I had chosen a better place, I wouldn’t have had to go through this trauma of choices.’
People with an ambition or desire to prove themselves drop their jaw in incredulity when someone who doesn’t have one has luck knocking on their door. The pain, the injustice of it all, can always turn your heart into a cactus plant, so the needles pierce your lungs every time they expand and drown you in a pool of anguish.
But this is unaccounted for. The insecurity and jealousy that takes root in your heart can kill you from the inside. Let’s make a simple metaphor for the rest of the post here.
When you start looking at the Dairy Milk with a coveted stare another person gets while you’ve been yearning for it the whole time on an empty stomach, you won’t notice the ingredients and recipe for Ferroro Rocher that’s in your hands. Now, won’t it be incredibly ecstatic to actually make that masterpiece out of the trivial assets you are in possession of? The owner of the Dairy Milk will peel off the wrapper with relish, polish it off in a few bites, and what will he do? Throw the paper in the bin and walk off without a care in the world.
But what will you do?
In spite of your stomach wailing, you will bear it and get to work with the available sources. It may come wrong the first time. May come wrong the second time. May even come wrong the third time. But you can’t always be an awful chef! And look, the fourth batch comes out mouth watering and waiting to be devoured. With the love and exhilaration that you never gave up and held onto your ray of hope all the time, you caress it with the gentle touch of your fingers, like it was a priceless treasure. And as you pop one of the crunchy balls in your mouth, the fact that you achieved that all by yourself without anyone lending a hand or offering you a box from the store fills your soul with a sense of bliss. The experimentation inspires a spark in you and you move onto creating a recipe of your own and introduce it to the society, gaining laurels.
And what happens to the person who had easy access to that Dairy Milk? He’ll be looking for someone to give him another Dairy Milk while they’ll be after the new savoury you invented. That is the difference between a compassionately ambitious person and a person who prefers to party around with friends while being born with a silver spoon. Hey, you won’t even get rid off the new wrapper for your chocolate because you’re the one who worked so hard to manufacture it and won’t have the heart to dispose it. What you’ll eventually do is make a paper mache out of it and gift it to a dear one who’ll cherish it for the rest of their lives.
Hard work and dreams always pay off, no matter what.
So keep calm, ignore the idiots who make your life a living hell, and focus on what you have.
It’ll be worth it.
Jai Shree Krishna
Lots of love,